Lukaku tries to curl the ball into the far post with his left foot,
and Jones, lying down after throwing himself about for some reason,
blocks the shot with an outstretched arm. He's booked as well.
26 mins: United have possession for a while in not
particularly dangerous areas, then attempt to work it into a dangerous
area and give it away. "Moyes reckons United have an 'outside chance' at
a Champions League spot," notes Ric Arthur. "'Outside' meaning
mathematically possible, but staggeringly improbable? If they win all 5
remaining games including this one, City would have to lose all their
remaining 5 if they were to be overtaken; or Arsenal would have to get
at most 2 points from their remaining 3 games AND Everton would have to
get at most 6 points from their remaining 4 games, including this one;
or some other combination of failures of these three teams (and I'm not
even reckoning in Spurs). Any mathematician care to work out the odds?"
Yes, how Moyes managed to say that with a straight face is perhaps the
most remarkable thing about his tenure so far.
22 mins: Great chance for Everton! A long ball is pumped into
the area to Lukaku, who heads back to the totally lonesome Naismith,
who blazes high. He could have taken it down, smoked a pipe and still
had time to tuck it in the corner.
20 mins: Penalty claim! A cross from the right, Naismith
meets it in the middle and Evans, leaping to block, blocks. But did it
hit his hand? The crowd thinks so, but replays suggest it was the back
of his shoulder. Anyway, the referee is unimpressed.
18 mins: On the PA, United's fans are told not to stand up
and that blocking the vomitories will result in their allocation being
reduced next season. We've had death and vomit, and the match isn't even
20 minutes old.
16 mins: This is a little bit creepy. I'm not sure it's to be
encouraged. On the pitch, incidentally, the teams are huffing and
puffing with no great precision. The Manchester United manager David Moyes
watches his side take on Everton as a fan in fancy dress watches from
the stands. Photograph: Carl Recine/Action Images
13 mins: Here's photographic evidence of the reaper rumour
being true. Either that or he's the villain in Spider-Man 4 and they're
doing some filming. A fan in fancy dress watches the Everton v Manchester United match from the stands. Photograph: Carl Recine/Action Images
11 mins: Coleman races down the right again, but still can't
find an accurate cross. He is, though, making Kagawa's afternoon a
little difficult.
9 mins: A cross from the right falls kindly for Barkley,
whose left-foot half-volley flies way over. This sounds interesting –
might it be the actual reaper?
Everton fan dressed as Grim Reaper stood behind Moyes, brandishing a scythe..
— Mark Ogden (@MOgdenTelegraph) April 20, 2014
8 mins: United fans sing "Justice for the 39" – a Heysel reference – prompting Everton's supporters into a bit more booing.
5 mins: The teams compete to give the ball to the other in
the most unnecessary way, until Mirallas pulls back Fletcher and United
have a free-kick.
3 mins: A fabulous run by Coleman on the right ends with a bit of a bobbins cross, which is easily cleared.
1 min: Some nice play from Mata ends with the ball looping up
into Nani's chest, but his left-foot volley from just outside the
penalty area is blocked.
Peeeeeeeeep!
1 min: Manchester United get the match under way, and
immediately ping the ball out of play for an Everton throw-in. "This has
to be United's most attacking lineup under Moyes," suggests Ore
Popoola. "Even if United end up losing, seems like Moyes is getting the
hang on things."
Boos ring out as David Moyes steps out and shakes Roberto Martínez
by the hand. But not for very long. "As a Manchester united fan I feel
as if this is the last important game of the season for us as there's
not much to play for," writes Lauren. "Wishing for a win but I know with
this season it's one step forward & two back so i'm going to stay
optimistically cautious."
"Afternoon Simon," writes Simon McMahon, as the players emerge from
the tunnel. Hello. "It's hard to know where to start with that Bye Bye
Moyes 'banner'. Aside from the fact that it looks like it was made by a
three year old holding a paintbrush in his or her mouth, to have
spelling, grammar and punctuation errors within a five word sentence is
quite something. Innit?" I don't know how old its creator was, but they
were probably feeling very emotional at the time.
David Moyes on being the centre of attention today: "Well [I'm] not.
It's about two teams. One team is trying to make a Champions League
spot, and we've still got an outside chance, but we want to finish as
high up the table as we can. So the concentration is totally on the
game."
"If we're tweeting @ you, it should be 'in 126 characters or less' #justsayin," pointofinformations Philip Podolsky. Or fewer, Philip. But yes, fair point.
This isn't Everton's only home game of the day – the ladies' match
against Notts County is currently in stoppage time, and they're 2-0
down.
If I'm not very much mistaken, those socks are lilac. Lilac! In my day you'd have been hounded out the game for good, etc. Steven Naismith of Everton arrives ahead of
the Premier League match against Manchester United at Goodison Park.
Photograph: Clive Brunskill/Getty Images
Right, I'm going to stop this nonsense now – I've got a picture of a player wearing unusually-coloured socks to show you. David Moyes takes on Electro in The Amazing
Spider-Man 3: The One with the Weird Casting Photograph: John Peters/Man
Utd via Getty Images; Allstar/COLUMBIA PICTURES/Sportsphoto
Ltd./Allstar
Hello world!
Back! Back! BACK!!!! These are special moments, as – in the space of
a single month – we enjoy the returns of Jack Bauer to our TV screens,
Spider-Man to the world's multiplexes and David Moyes to Goodison Park,
one after the other. Three flawed heroes who for all their imperfections
have still managed to entertain, to exasperate and still to save the
world. Well, two of them have saved the world. And for all this,
miserable ingrates criticise. Can we not see what these men have
achieved, what they have sacrificed for us? And, more specifically,
couldn't they organise a job swap? Spider-Man makes an unlikely appearance as
Manchester United manager. Photograph: Aris Messinis/AFP/Getty Images;
Allstar/Columbia Pictures/Sportsphoto Ltd./Allstar
The teams!
Everton: Howard, Coleman, Stones, Distin, Baines, McCarthy, Barry, Lukaku, Barkley, Mirallas, Naismith. Subs: Robles, Hibbert, McGeady, Deulofeu, Osman, Garbutt, Alcaraz. Man Utd: De Gea, Jones, Smalling, Evans, Buttner, Carrick, Fletcher, Nani, Mata, Kagawa, Rooney. Subs: Giggs, Lindegaard, Hernandez, Welbeck, Valencia, Fellaini, Januzaj. Referee: Mark Clattenburg.
You'll
notice Buttner, Evans, Nani and Mata returning to the United team, and
Naismith and McCarthy slotting in for Everton. Of United's former
Evertonians Wayne Rooney is their captain, and Marouane Fellaini is
their substitute, or one of them. COPY http://www.theguardian.com/
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